


Learning Curve

by motionalocean



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher (Video Game)
Genre: But only because it's my fault, Crack Treated Seriously, Drabble Collection, Gen, Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Being an Idiot, M/M, Moral Dilemmas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-10-11
Packaged: 2021-03-03 03:34:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24344341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/motionalocean/pseuds/motionalocean
Summary: It's easy to make a fool of yourself when you refuse to learn the rules of the game.(Drabbles inspired by all the stupid shit I do as I bumble my way through The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt and its expansions. Usually with the addition of Jaskier, because if Geralt does something hilarious and the bard isn't around to immortalize it, does it really happen?)Each chapter stands alone.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion
Comments: 3
Kudos: 16





	1. Bees

He can hear them just fine. Too well. All he can hear is that damned buzz. It drones from nowhere and everywhere at once. It gets louder, sometimes, but it’s so damn hard to pinpoint. He never realizes how close he is until he feels the stings. Usually at the worst times.

Jaskier laughs uproariously when he finds him after a fight, backing away from a fallen enemy swatting the air and cursing. Geralt glares at the corpse from a safe distance; he can _see_ the relic boots and gloves and a chicken sandwich, but the buzzing demons are in a tree _right overhead_. He edges forward, darts in quickly to retrieve his rightful loot, and gets more stings for his troubles. He snarls at the bard’s laughter, but knows that Jaskier will rub salve on the stings that evening.

A week later, he downs a foe with a blast of Igni and while cleaning the battlefield is surprised to find a chunk of sweet honeycomb nearby. He looks at the scorched tree and finds a perfect outline of the hive, but no bees in sight.

Well. The honey is almost as good as Jaskier’s salve for his wounded pride.


	2. Fire

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You know how dragons are "not so fireproof on the inside"?  
> Witchers, despite shooting fire from their fingertips, are not fireproof at all.

The first time Geralt used Igni in earnest, he was standing next to an exploding barrel. It killed the drowner, but knocked him ass over teakettle into the pond. The damage was minimal to all but his pride. As he dragged himself out, he could hear Vesemir yelling from Kaer Morhen. _Situational awareness, Geralt! It’s not just the monsters that’ll kill you._

Fortunately, Jaskier wasn’t around to witness that indignity. And the loot was worth it.

He was around later, though, when it got dark and Geralt decided to revitalize by meditating the night hours away. Jaskier lit a fire – _The old-fashioned way, thank you very much, Geralt_ – and was roasting some game.

Geralt was engrossed in sorting his inventory, looking over his Quest Book, considering the many recipes he had not the ingredients for. Something startled him – _Situational awareness, Geralt!_ – and he was suddenly airborne. He landed next to Jaskier’s roasting spit.

Pain nudged at his attention, and he drew his sword. Enemy!

Jaskier was yelling. Geralt whirled around. Everything in his witcher senses was yellow and flickery. Too much input. Where was the enemy?

Oh. He was on fire.

Fuck.

Jaskier would never let him live this down.


	3. Gaetan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes the monsters are men. Sometimes they're even witchers.
> 
> Post "Beast of Honorton / Where the Cat and Wolf Play" quests.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one's a bit more serious than Geralt being a dumbass. This moment of morality hit me and I couldn't help but try to capture the complex grief of it. End-notes contain context if desired.

Geralt lowered himself to his bedroll with a soft grunt. His fire flickered with the odd drop of rain; wind-swept trees provided a meager shelter.

Mellie’s aunt had offered the barn for the night, but Geralt saw the fear in her eyes. Even though he’d brought the girl home safe, the story of Honorton was too new and raw to trust a witcher within the village. Geralt couldn’t blame them. He looked down at the medallion he’d taken off Gaetan along with his swords.

It was such a damn waste. All the goodwill Geralt had fostered since Blaviken, the songs and stories Dandelion performed across the Continent. It was all for naught if other witchers slaughtered villagers at the slightest insult.

It wasn’t the first time Geralt had had to put down a fellow witcher gone rabid. He always hoped it’d be the last, though.

He pocketed the silver cat head. Lambert was friendly with a Cat. He’d know how to contact Gaetan’s brothers in arms, and hopefully they’d understand. Geralt could honor his life without glorifying his death.

Wrapping the memory of Mellie’s hug around him like a cloak, Geralt sank into his meditation. It’d be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gaetan, a Cat witcher, concluded a contract for the village of Honorton. They offered him a fraction of the agreed-upon bounty and, when he objected, tried to kill him. So he slaughtered the entire village, save one little girl who reminded him of his sister (who had long since died of old age). The girl ran from Geralt because he was a witcher. Geralt tracked Gaetan down, heard his side of the story, and (I) decided to kill him. Geralt then delivered Mellie, the little girl, to her aunt's village. I chose to tell them the truth of what happened, because I think Geralt is painfully honest when it comes to his honor.

**Author's Note:**

> If it isn't painfully obvious, I play on the easiest of easy levels, because I can.
> 
> Please commiserate and share with me the stupid shit you have also done in this glorious game, either in the comments or on Tumblr: [motionalocean](http://motionalocean.tumblr.com/).


End file.
